Since I was like 8 years old, I’ve been THE GO-TO GIRL for all my mates’ problems, from dietary supplements, nasty rashes and stuff, to the recurring “should I bang Jasper or his brother’s friend Kyle”.
I’ve honed my empathy skills and can now spot a teary eye from 40 paces. Try me out – if you’re depressed or really annoyed with anything, I’ll definitely be able to tell!
And help. I can help.
You want to be me.
And with my help, you can almost get there!
For only €1299 a month (12 month minimum), I can sort out your shitty wardrobe, make you appear a lot more popular than you actually are, and instill in you an impregnable sense of self-worth.
You can’t put a price on self-obsession – BUT I JUST DID!!!