In 2009, I unfortunately had to make my Facebook profile private, as there are like WAAAYYY too many creeps out there.

I still have roughly around 1,322 friends though, which is probably at least like three times what you have.

I know what makes people tick on Facebook, so I can easily integrate your global social strategy into my multi-faceted, cross-platform, tactic-based, responsive-designed, kpi-crushing, budget-massaging, ego-slathering process of getting you, like, likes and stuff.

Haven’t worked out why people share stuff, but I’ve never, like, actually shared anything myself, so if you’re after REAL people, people who can actually afford like a proper winter coat and iPhone, then I’m here to help.

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